I am one strong headed lady! I am Italian. I am an Aries. I am stubborn. I am passionate… I have a son. My son is one strong headed little guy. He is Italian. He is a Taurus. He is stubborn. He is passionate. Does this sound like trouble? I often laugh and tell friends that my daughter is the easy one, but my son gives me a run for my money daily! ha.
I constantly wonder how I can help him and how I can parent him better. How can I “change” him so that we have an easier time together. Why is he so difficult? Why does he give me such a hard time, yet my husband has no problems with him. What’s up with that? I’ll never forget when he was little he wrote me a love letter telling me how much he loved his mama. Then later that night he was so mad at me he asked for it back so he could rip it up!!! lol
Funny little guy.
I am determined to find a better way to help him and recently I heard a story that changed everything for me. I wish I could remember who I heard it from, but it goes something like this.
“There was a woman and her husband who lived on a nice quiet street. She couldn’t get out much, so she would always sit by the window, while knitting, and look out at the world. Each weekend her neighbor would hang their laundry on the line in the yard to dry. And each weekend the woman would say to her husband, ‘Look at that laundry. Don’t they know how to do it properly? Why would they hang up such spotty clothes. She needs to work harder. Look at all those spots and stains!’ Week after week she watched the neighbor hang up dirty clothes to dry. One day she sent her husband out to buy really good detergent and asked him to leave it on the neighbors porch. The next weekend when the neighbor hung her clothes out to dry, the wife called her husband in. ‘Look she said, she finally learned how to clean her clothes properly.’ The husband laughed and said, ‘Actually when you sent me to the store to buy good detergent, I also bought us good window cleaner, and yesterday I cleaned OUR windows. Our neighbor’s laundry was always clean. It did not have a single stain! What made you think it was dirty was your own point of view. When we changed our outlook by cleaning our own window, everything suddenly looked different!'”
All this time she was judging the neighbor when it was actually her own perception.
Hmmm…. so is my son the difficult one or am I looking at it through a stained and spotted window? I thought a lot about this story and decided it was time for me to do the changing and see what that brings our relationship. By changing my attitude it really has brought us more peace. I have tried some different approaches with him and he has responded in a positive way. Don’t get me wrong… we are both still stubborn, passionate and crazy, BUT we seem to be finding a better path together. I love my son and wouldn’t really want to change a thing about him. I am, however, glad that I heard that story when I did and that it has challenged me to really look at my window and own my perception.
Where in your life should you take time to deep clean your windows. What are you looking through? Anger, mistrust, depression???? Joy, laughter, kindness? You can choose what your window is covered in. Just think of it as window treatments for your life. Clean when needed. Adorn with pleasurable accessories. Find the best view and enjoy it.